No Thanks, I'm Full!

Suppose someone should offer me a plateful of crumbs after I had eaten a T-bone steak. I would say, "No, thank you. I am already satisfied." Christian, that is the secret-you can be so filled with the things of Christ, so enamored with the things of God that you do not have time for the sinful pleasures of the world. --Billy Graham

Great way to look at it!

Thanks Billy.

What's that sound?

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...

So thankful for my dad. He's ALWAYS there if I need him. Always. No question. He again rescued me from the clutches of a flat tire. The second one in the past 5 months.

And for someone who bugged me about tires for quite a while...if you are reading...I am getting a new set TODAY, after work. All four tires. Good to go--until I determine what I am going to do in regards to my car when my lease is up. So I am all set.

Thanks dad. There are a handful of people I know I can ALWAYS count on no matter what it is or where it is or how ridiculously WINDY it is...and you are at the TOP of that list. I am so blessed.

Can I Get an AMEN?!?

"I do not fear failure, but I fear that I will learn to succeed in areas that matter not to God."

(I do not know the originator of this quote, but WOW! That's says SO much!)

Idle With Despair...

"If I could tell the world just one thing it would be that we're all OK. And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these. I won't be made useless or be idle with despair. I will gather myself around my faith, for light does the darkness most fear." --Jewel (taken from the song: Hands)

I love the part about worry being wasteful. It really is!! I don't want to be made useless or be idle with despair either. In fact, lately, the things I was despairing for awhile have subsided. But come what may from this point on, I WILL NOT BE IDLE WITH DESPAIR. She says it well, the light is what the darkness most fears. And despair is found in darkness. I know. I know it well. And hanging out in the darkness is wasteful and useless.

I was in a pit of despair for many months. Some days were really really bad, some days were good, and now most days the pit is just a painful memory. I lament the days that I was made useless by my selfish despair. It was selfish. I didn't get what I wanted and it hurt and I just didn't want to "get over it". Well, that's a part of life. The truth of it is, I still don't like what went wrong. I HATE it as a matter of fact, still. But it will not consume me again. It will not render me useless. I will not be wasteful like that with my life. I am meant for better things. My God didn't sacrifice his ONLY SON so that I could hang around feeling sorry for myself and my broken heart. It's not wrong to grieve. It's not wrong to hurt. It's not wrong to question WHY. It's not wrong to feel. But it is SO WRONG to be wasteful with our lives. It is wrong to be idle and made useless by our despair. Over the past couple of weeks, that's really hit me hard. I have felt really convicted by all of the time that I wasted in that pit. It was a pit. I was in the very bottom of that pit bound in chains, DOING NOTHING BUT SIMMERING IN MY OWN SORROW. I didn't throw myself in that pit...that was done for me, however, the chains which bound me were chains that I created! I did that all by myself.

I have been doing A WHOLE LOT better , PRAISE BE TO GOD ONLY!!! He's been so good to me, despite myself. Christmas time was a bit hard, but holidays always are when it comes to matters for the heart and loved ones. But for the most part I am healing more and more every day. I know that the chains are gone and the pit is a painful memory. I have grown SO much. And I've learned a lot too, about myself and about others. It's been a tough road the past 4-5 months, but a road that I can honestly say that I am glad that I walked (and many times crawled). God has done a lot of difficult but much needed work in me and I am always glad for that, in spite of the pain required to get the job done.

Thank You God for the blessings-- before, during, and after the pit. It was a hard journey, but a much needed one. I love you.


Full Song:
"Hands" by Jewel

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
Or be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

Foolish Games

It always amazes me how deeply songs reach and for how long. I haven't heard this song in a VERY long time, but I heard it the other day and I immediatey was transported MANY years back. This song, at the time it was popular, was particularly deep reaching for me. When I heard it the other day, it was like being sucked back in time. The intensity of emotions that it triggered was...unexpected. I forgot that I knew every word, every note. Obviously I am passed what was going on in my life all those years ago, but it was interesting how the sting hit me the minute I heard the first few notes of the song. Music is incredibly deep reaching for me, if I attach it to my emotions for whatever reason, like I did with this song, the song can never remain the same. It goes deep, really deep. Like my heart.
(I still love the song...its is painfully beautiful.)

Nothing To Say...

I've got to write something else or post something else here so that last post moves down. It's "bugging" me.

So, what do I have to say or share today that is worthwhile? Hmmm. Not much really. I'll have to look around and find something.

Hang on. Let me see.

I'm going to search around some of my favorite haunts....

Here's something to ponder...although not for long:

"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle." Rita Mae Brown

I never actually thought about it. Makes sense though.

Plus, now Fred is not at the top of my page anymore. See ya Freddy!

SPIDERS!!!

Can anyone help me figure out what kind of spider this is? It is not nearly as big as it looks in the pic. About the size of a nickel with leg span and all. I've seen several of them since we disrupted the quiet hiding places in the house by installing our new carpet.

I am CRAZY scared of spiders and I just want to know that this one isn't going to do me or my kiddo (or anyone else for that matter) any harm. My dad just recently got over a HORRIBLE spider bite and I am just a bit freaked out!!!

Can anyone help identify Fred???

Does Prayer Change God's Mind?

-When we pray, does it cause God to do things He otherwise would not have done?-

Not long after Dallas Seminary was founded in 1924, bankruptcy knocked at its doors. By noon on one particular day, every creditor threatened foreclosure. That morning, the founders of the Seminary met to pray in president Lewis Sperry Chafer's office. They asked God to provide the needed funds. Harry Ironside was part of that prayer meeting. When it was his turn to pray, he prayed in his characteristically pointed manner: "Lord, we know that the cattle on a thousand hills are thine. Please sell some of them and send us the money."

Meanwhile, as these men were praying, into the seminary's business office came a tall Texan. Addressing a secretary, he said, "I just sold two carloads of cattle in Fort Worth. I've been trying to make a business deal go through and it won't work, and I feel that God is compelling me to give this money to the seminary. I don't know if you need it or not, but here's the check."
Well aware of the seriousness of the seminary's financial situation, and knowing that it was for that purpose the founders were gathered in prayer, the secretary took the check to the door of the president's office and timidly knocked. When she finally got a response, Chafer took the check out of her hand and stared at it with amazement. The amount matched the exact size of the seminary's debt. Looking at the signature on the check, he recognized the name of the cattle rancher. Turning to Harry Ironside, he said, "Harry, God sold the cattle!"

What a story! It demonstrates the reality that God is active in our everyday world. But for some this story may raise questions. Was God planning to allow the seminary to go under, but changed His mind when so many godly men gathered to persuade Him otherwise? Would that Texan have come to the seminary with money even if these men weren't praying? Just what can we expect of prayer?

If you're a Christian, most likely you pray. But, like most of us, you may wonder what happens when we pray. Is it possible to change our circumstances or the circumstances of others by our prayers? What if God intends to do one thing and I would prefer that He do another? Will my prayers change His mind and His actions? What difference can my prayers make if God decides all things? Will He not ultimately do what He wants? And if He responds to our prayers, is His sovereignty limited?

Scripture teaches both that God is, indeed, the one and only sovereign being, and that the prayers of His people are effective. How can both statements be true? They are true because God has factored our prayers and His sovereign desires into one plan in ways the finite human mind cannot fully understand.

-Lance Hartman-

My Love Affair

The written word. It seems that most people either love it or hate it. As a means of communication, I use it often. I do not use it to avoid dealing with people face to face, which tends to be the problem most people have with it. The second issue people have with it is interpretation issues. On that point, I am glad to discuss in person with anyone, anything I have written and clarify any points of ambiguity.

I figure if the written word was sufficient enough for God to use in order to share His Word with us for generations, it is good enough for me too. So if I have ever opted to communicate with you personally through written word or to a broader audience through blogs, it is not in an effort to not have to deal with you face to face. I choose it more so when the topic is of high importance to me and I don't want to leave anything out or stumble over my thoughts or words. It helps me to be thorough and work through the points I need to highlight or emphasize without losing my focus. You see, I am fully aware of how easy it can be for me to get sidetracked or lose my train of thought.

Writing is also therapeutic for me. I write to people. I journal. And I write blogs. I write and I share lessons I am learning, need to learn, or have already learned. I share things that I struggle with and things that fill my life with joy. I write sometimes to simply get things out of my head that I can't seem to release. I write to praise my God. I write to ease my heart. I write to share my life. I write to invite you into my world. I write for my sanity. You may or may not like what I write at any given time and that's perfectly alright. What I write may reflect your life or it may only reflect mine. It may step on your toes. It may have nothing to do with you and not hold your interest at all. It may hit the target, it may totally miss. Its interpretation will certainly be affected by the life and mind of the reader at the time of the reading. In fact that's part of the impact, interpretation can reflect more on the life and thought processes going on in the reader than in the writer.

It is interesting. Writing has so many facets both in the act/art of writing and in the reading/interpretation of the reader. I have a love affair with the written word; writing and reading. I love them both. I am so thankful that God chose to give me His thoughts, ideals, insight, commands, love, hope and promises through the written word. I can always go back, study it, read and reread it. It is always there. If I forget something, if I simply want to be reminded, writing is a wonderful medium.

Thank you God for the written word. I find You in it everyday in many many ways.