Feeling a little less wise today!

Even though my face feels three times its normal size, like something out of a cartoon, the mirror says it looks the same as it always does. The evil wisdom tooth that I have had problems with for the past 5 years is GONE. It wasn't that bad. I've got pain meds and plenty of care instructions. So now all I have left is the two bottom ones, which I will have to "save up" to have surgically removed. Perhaps in January. There's something to look forward to! Usually when I am "saving up" for something, it is actually something I want and will enjoy...not having things surgically removed. Oh well. This is life.
My dentist felt the need to continue to comment about how unusually big my wisdom teeth are. Bigger than most he's seen. Does that mean I am therefore, wiser than most?!?!? Ha, probably NOT! For such a tiny mouth (as he calls it) having huge wisdom teeth doesn't sound like much fun for the removal process. Well, I always knew I was extra special. I just didn't know in quite how many different ways!

Gettin' Outta Dodge!

Two days OFF this week! I am so excited. I've been working like a mad woman for several weeks and I need a break. Unfortunately, one of the days off will not be a day of fun...I will be having a wisdom tooth extracted. What fun! But the following day I will be off again heading out of town to take my little one on a fun-filled excursion for her birthday. (Shhh, don't tell her!) It will be a big deal and lots of fun for her plus a much needed day off and weekend out-of-town for her mommy! I need an escape...and it came just in the nick of time.
Blessings just seem to work like that. It seems that when life gets to be too much between work, family, relationships, finances, wisdom teeth, etc... up pops a load-lifter. A blessing. A 4-day weekend. A little time away with a silly little, curly headed angel. And I really need it, with all that has been on my plate and on my mind. I need a little dose of "vacation" even if it is just for a few days.

Thank you God, for "Time Off."

My Saturday

That had to be THE BEST massage I ever had...EVER! Wow. I will definitely be going back to him. (And no his name wasn't Sven...and he didn't look like a Sven either. Oh well) I've never had a professional massage before that wasn't with a woman. I was a wee bit anxious at first. Don't know why really, just the fact that it was a man was different for me. But he really did a great job. I don't know if it was because I asked specifically for a deep tissue massage or that maybe as a man he was stronger than the women therapists I've gone to in the past. I don't know, but it really helped! What a difference.

Anyway, I will be going back, for sure.

It was funny, I had a lot to do Saturday, after my time at the spa, for work, and I got a huge compliment from my boss about how calm and relaxed I was to be handling a big event, on my own, for the first time. I just smiled and said, "Thanks." Granted, I had worked VERY hard in the preparatory weeks and had every detail taken care of so that the event would be seamless, but the morning at the spa was just the final touch needed to get me through that challenge in a great state of mind.

Blessings EVERYWHERE.

I Can't Wait!

I am so excited! I have been working so incredibly hard the past couple of weeks! Two coworkers of mine have been off for two weeks so far and I have been doing my dead-level best to do my job, AND both of theirs without anything falling through the cracks. WHEW! It's been very challenging, but also a great experience. Thankfully one of those coworkers is back in the office today; however, the other still has no idea when he will be able to return, possbily another week. But there is relief on the horizon...

Saturday morning I am headed to the spa! One hour massage (with SVEN, tee hee! Ok probably not with Sven, but it was worth the giggle) and both a manicure and a pedicure. (Thank you Gracyn and helper, for giving me such a treat for Mother's Day! Good thing I saved it for a time when I really needed it!) I just cannot wait! It's been way too long since I've had a massage...over a year! I am SO looking forward to it. I wouldn't be so arrogant to say that I derserve this, but I definitely will be glad to indulge in it! Ahhhhhhhhh...

Wow, how profound is this?

Heaven is not here, it's there. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.
... Elisabeth Elliot in Keep a Quiet Heart

Amazing Camp

I went out to my church's new camp (currently under construction) today. It was awesome. It is amazing what they are doing with it. It should really prove to be a place where kids and adults alike can come out, be in God's creation with one another and grow closer to God. I pray for all of the souls that will walk its path and that they may come to know and accept Christ there if they haven't already. What a beautiful place and what a blessing for me to get to go out there and see it in its early stages. I can't wait to head out there once it is ready to roll. Simply an amazing place!! What a great day!

My Little Black Dress

I did it, I did it, I did it! I can fit into my little black dress. Don't have anywhere to wear it, but Sunday morning when I was getting ready for church, I saw it hanging there in my closet. Since I have lost several pounds lately, I thought I'd just slip it on to see if it fit. The last time I put it on, it went on, but was a wee bit too tight, I looked like I might need to charge a fee for anyone to see me in it if you know what I mean! LOL. But not Sunday. Sunday, it slipped on and draped gracefully, like it was meant to. I just about screamed. I forgot just how pretty it was. WOW!. Unfortunately, it wasn't really a dress I'd wear to church since I dress pretty casual for church, and it looks like a dress you'd wear out on the town or something. So I put on another great little skirt suit, that didn't used to fit either, and it looked great too! What a difference a few pounds can make. Anyway, I know it's probably no big deal to anyone else, but it's been two years in the making and I am thrilled. The last few pounds may not have come off under the circumstances I would have preferred, but hey, they came off! So maybe I didn't do it so much, but life did it for me. And if that's the way it had to be...OK. I'm alright with that. Now, I've got to find a reason to wear that little black number, before it starts getting cool out. Any ideas anyone? LOL

(And no, that's not a picture of it, mine is much prettier...) (WINK)

Mufasa Spoke to My Soul

"You are more than what you have become."

--Mufasa

Disney movies...for kids? Yeah, probably. Remotely close to reality? Nope. If you are expecting or hoping your life will turn out like a Disney movie...get ready to be disappointed your whole life. There is no perfect princess or prince charming that will live happily ever after. Don't delude yourself. But the great thing is we can find love and joy with others, if we know it takes work, effort, prayer, and walking in faith. If we tune out the lies and deception of Satan who will attack us at every turn. But don't ever think it will be like Disney. Disney is fantasy...never reality.

I was watching the Lion King this weekend with my kiddo. And there was a line in it where the spirit of Mufasa tells Simba that he is more than what he has become...and I sat there screaming in my head that there is someone I want to say that to too. I want to scream it to them, but cannot. And then it hit me...stop focusing on that person. JUST STOP IT! Perhaps God is screaming that same sentiment at ME. "Carlotta, you are more than what you have become. You can be more and do more... for Me. You can be what I see in you. You can be the woman I designed you to be. But right now...you are not. Stop focusing on who else needs to change. See that you do...and that you can only do so with Me...your Father, your God!!!"

So, I learned something from a cartoon Disney movie. While I see so much more inside of others than what they are living and what they see in themselves...it is not for me to change them. It is not for me to knock sense into them. It is not for me to fix them. I can only change myself and I can only do that with the help of God through the Holy Spirit who lives within me! I am more than what I have become. I can change. If I want more boldness, God can help. If I seek more compassion, God can help. If I need more self-esteem, God can help. Whatever I need to do or change in order to become what He visions and what He planned, I CAN BECOME. I can never say, "This is just how God made me. If you don't like it, be mad at Him. He gives certain gifts to certain people, and I just didn't get that one...," that is BUNK! That is Satan's lie. God can give us what we need to become more and more like Him. If we just resign to "this is the way I am"...we are FOOLS.

I am more than what I have become. God help me to see that and to submit to You and trust in You to help me change!

Thanks Mufasa for the reminder of what my Father is trying to tell me too.

He keeps speaking to me...

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Psalm 34:18

Spellbound by Jesus

I am spellbound by the intensity of Jesus' emotions: Not a twinge of pity, but heartbroken compassion; not a passing irritation, but terrifying anger; not a silent tear, but groans of anguish; not a weak smile, but ecstatic celebration. Jesus' emotions are like a mountain river cascading with clear water. My emotions are more like a muddy foam or a feeble trickle. -----G. Walter Hansenin, Christianity Today.

Well, as all of you guys know, my emotions are strong, intense, real, and born from my heart. I have almost become apologetic for them at various points in my life. I will not do that again. Jesus was an emotional man. He loved deeply, to the point of tears on many occasions. He rejoiced deeply. He burned with anger too. His compassion was so strong and so deep I can barely even comprehend it. I want to be like Him. And I never ever want to feel the need to apologize for being real or for feeling deeply, for my Lord and Savior gave me that example. We are not hard-wired to be unfeeling, cold, and without compassion. We get that way from outside sources: hard childhoods, bad relationships, being wronged, being hurt, withdrawing to protect ourselves. It is not hard-wired.

We would not be asked to be like Jesus if we were innately incapable of it. We will never be perfect. We will never be able to be exactly as He is. But we are to strive, to learn, to be active and purposeful in seeking any way and all ways to be like Him. If we simply resign ourselves to the statement "this is just the way I am, " or "this is just how God made me", we have lost sight of our example. It is the easy way out. It is simply saying that we just don't want to do the work, make the effort, stretch and grow, because it is uncomfortable, maybe even painful. But in the end we are the ones who lose out on so many of the wonderful blessings God has for us. We just harden ourselves so much that deep deep levels of connection with others become impossible. And those deep connections are some of the most beautiful, treasured, and cherished blessings God can bestow on us in this life. Don't miss out. Don't remain hardened.

Look to your Savior to guide you and to be your example. He is a man of deep deep emotion and sensitivity, but strong and bold as a lion too. Watch and learn. Open up your heart and allow Him to show you and and guide you to the blessings He has in store for your life. Hardening yourself to protect yourself from the painful blows of life will create a lonely existence. Softening your heart to reflect that of Christ will bring you boundless blessings. But we all have the option of choice. Our choice can make us or break us. But it is indeed your choice!

The Internal Battle

I don't usually pay too much attention to celebrities and their lives/gossip and such. Just doesn't interest me. But I have been a long time fan of Owen Wilson. Can't really put my finger on why, he just makes me laugh. And I just love someone who can genuinely make me laugh! I don't think he's hot, I don't think he is a great acting talent. I just like him. It made me sad to think that while he is always silly and goofy and playful on the outside, that he had such sadness and turmoil on the inside. So much so that he'd "allegedly" attempt suicide. How many other people do we run across in this world that have such intense internal battles that they never share, they hold inside and unsuccessfully carry alone. It just makes me so sad. Someone like Owen who makes me smile just when I hear his name, has such deep sorrow is so sad to me. I don't know this man, never will, but I pray he can face his demons, find peace, and heal. I pray this for him, for me, and for all of those in my life silently fighting their own battles...alone.